Log in

i like sex and bongs [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ website | My Website ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

old english papers r fun [Apr. 6th, 2006|10:54 pm]
i vaguely remember writing this at midnight the day b4 it was due...

Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl whose name was Adelaide Blanche Celestine. Her real mother, Esmeralda, died when Adelaide was a child. Adelaide’s father, Ford, remarried an evil woman, Darice. Darice was a very greedy evil woman, who wanted all of Ford’s money. The only way to get his money was for him to die. Ford was planning to go out one evening when Darice cut the brakes on his car. Luckily Ford didn’t bring Adelaide. He thought it would be too risky, for it was very stormy outside. The father died that night and Darice got the money. Adelaide grieved and insisted her father be buried next to her mother’s grave.
Darice decided to take in Adelaide even thought she had two daughters of her own, and she despised Adelaide with all of her cold black heart of ice. Adelaide was despised for her beautiful looks and pleasant attitude toward life. Anyone who met Adelaide instantly liked her, except for her own stepmother and step sisters. They made her do all the work of the house because they despised her so much. Adelaide did it without one complaint. Her attitude towards her work angered Darice and her daughters even more, and so they made her work twice as hard.
One day Darice went to the mall and bought gifts for her daughters. Then she had to stop by their school, for her daughters weren’t beautiful or smart. Darice found an old moldy stick on the ground and she picked it up. She gave her daughters their gifts and looked at Adelaide. She laughed cruelly and asked Adelaide if she would like a gift. Adelaide was about to respond when Darice whipped the stick at her. Adelaide picked it up and walked away from the roars of laughter coming from her step sisters and step mother. She looked at the stick and thought she saw a hint of gold. She walked to her parents’ graves and planted the stick there. She didn’t really expect anything to happen, but placed the stick there upon instinct.
The next day while Adelaide was cleanin the fireplace, her stepsisters came home talking loudly about a winter homecoming at their school. Her elder step sister, Georgiana, said a king and queen would be voted for and elected there. Her other step sister, Harriett, said that every girl in the town would be there. Adelaide asked if she could go and the step sisters laughed uncontrollably. Adelaide ran to her parents’ grave, seeking aide. When she got there she was taken aback by a large golden tree that had grown there.
She stared at the tree in awe. She was trying to figure out how the tree got there when Darice called her into the house. Darice told her that if she was able to clean and mop the whole house, clean the fireplace, and pick all the grain from the field, the she could go to the dance. Adelaide was elated for she felt she could accomplish these tasks in the six hours she had until the dance. Little did she realize that her step sisters would ruin her chances of going to the dance, for they called her every five minutes so she could help them get ready. By the time Adelaide was able to begin her jobs, the dance had started. She ran to her golden tree and began to cry.
“I wish I could go to the ball!” she cried, “I wish my jobs were done, and I had a beautiful dress with beautiful glass slippers! It isn’t fair!” She had been crying for several minutes before she realized she had been wearing a beautiful silver dress with gorgeous glass slippers on her feet. Her hair was beautifully done and she had sterling silver rings on each finger. She looked to the sky and saw what she thought was a massive cloud moving towards her, but after watching it she realized it moved much to fast to be a cloud. It turned out to be a large flock of doves. The doves began to pick the grain and clean the house. They cleaned the fireplace and did the dishes. Adelaide was in such
shock and could not believe what was happening.
A dove then landed on a branch of the tree. He began to talk, and Adelaide was in such awe that she couldn’t scream from the fear she felt inside. The dove told her that all this magic would wear off by midnight, and if she wasn’t back by then, the magic will have worn off and she would be in her old rags. Adelaide gratefully thanked the dove, promised to be back by midnight, and ran off to the dance in a carriage also provided by the tree.
Adelaide arrived at the dance and stunned everyone. The king was already elected and saw Adelaide. He was speechless, for her beauty was blinding. Her beauty was so great that it seemed as if a halo of light surrounded her, causing her to glow. The ground beneath her seemed to turn to a cloud, as if the ground already there wasn’t good enough for her to walk upon. She was the most beautiful thing to walk upon earth. She was more beautiful than Aphrodite, and more desired then Persephone. Every boy wanted to marry Adelaide, and every girl envied her. The voting for the queen was to take place, and the elected king refused to accept any girl as his queen except Adelaide. The students agreed reluctantly. Adelaide danced with the king all night. The king wanting to know her name whispered softly in her ear, “What is the name of the most beautiful creature on earth?”
Adelaide, looked around confusedly and asked, “Do you mean me?”
The king smiled and said, “Of course I mean you! You are by far the most stunningly beautiful girl I have seen in my whole life, and I would like to know your name.”
Adelaide, blushing slightly, spoke her name, “Adelaide Blanche Celestine.”
The King commented on her beautiful name and danced the night away with her. He insisted he go with her everywhere in case another man tried to steal her away from him. They walked outside and through the school’s garden. The prince picked a rose and gave it to Adelaide. They sat on a bench and talked for hours. The king interested in Adelaide’s shoes, picked one up and studied it. Then after he was satisfied, set it down on the ground.
The king looked at his watch and stated, “Wow it is already so late. In ten seconds the clock chimes will strike, indicating the start of a new day!”
“You mean it is almost midnight! I have to go! I had a lovely time with you and hope to see you again someday!” and she began running. In the rush to leave she forgot the shoe the king had taken earlier.
“Wait! I do not even remember your name! You left your shoe! Please come back! I love you!” the king shouted hopelessly.
The next day Georgiana and Harriett were angrily watching television. The events of the dance were on the news. They talked of an unnamed girl of great beauty who had been there and stole the king’s heart. They told viewers that her name was forgotten, and the only clue to who she was, was a glass shoe left behind in the school garden.
Adelaide, who had thought she would never see the king again, became elated with joy. The newscaster continued with the story by saying that every girl in the town was to come to the school and try on the shoe. Adelaide went, even after her step sisters complained endlessly. Darice knew Adelaide wasn’t the girl from the dance, and knew Adelaide would embarrass herself even more if she had gone to the school and tried the shoe on in front of everyone. She explained this concept to her two daughters, and all three laughed wickedly and maliciously.
The four women had been standing in line for hours waiting to try on the shoe. The crowd of girls wanting to marry the king seemed never-ending. His best friend was trying the shoe on all the women and finally had gotten to Georgiana. She tried to fit on the shoe but her big toe wouldn’t fit. She insisted it was her shoe and excused herself to go to the bathroom, saying it wouldn’t fit because her feet were dirty. When she reached the bathroom she took a knife and slit off her big toe. She came back her foot fit. A dove then flew in and whispered something to the king’s friend. He took the shoe and sent Georgiana on her way.
Next Harriet was allowed to try on the shoe. Her hideous heel was in the way so she too slipped into the bathroom. She took her sister’s knife and slit off her heel. Then when she returned, the shoe fit. The dove screeched about excitedly and Harriet too was sent on her way.
Now it was Adelaide’s turn to try on her own shoe. she slipped her foot in the shoe and it fit perfectly. No one would believe that this girl in rags was the beautiful girl from the dance and demanded more proof. Silently Adelaide pulled out the matching glass shoe. The whole crowd gasped. The gym was then silent with awe. The king came in and proclaimed, “I love you more than Artemis loves hunting, or Narcissus loves himself. Marry me, and I will love you more than you could ever imagine!”
“But you do not even know my name. How can you love someone and not know their name?” Adelaide questioned.
The king retorted, “Who cares? A name is meaningless. Let your name be Venus for you are the loveliest thing to walk the earth, let it be Athena for you are the wisest person I know, or let it be Eurydice, for I will go to the underworld to rescue you.”
Adelaide, touched by his comment, simply stated, “Adelaide Blanche Celestine, what’s yours?”
The King chuckled and replied, “Irvin Jasper Kassidy. Now can you marry me?”
“Yes!” exclaimed Adelaide, “Let us get ready right now!” Adelaide ran to the tree and asked for the prettiest dress, even more beautiful than the one she had worn the night before. She asked for her hair to be done up like before, and asked for a new pair of glass shoes, for her old ones were now covered with blood. In several minutes she was clothed in a beautiful white and silver dress, and had all the jewelry a girl could ask for.
She met Irvin in the beautiful garden of the school, and there they were married. They lived together as happy as Zeus and Hera on Mount Olympus. They had one son, Lalo, and one daughter, Mabella.
link1 comment|post comment

life life life [Apr. 5th, 2006|09:56 pm]
duuude i have a 90 in government

thats just sweet

in other news...

i really hate anti stem cell research ppl... i hope they all die of parkinsons... thatd be ironic

im hunrgy

im mad at lots of ppl... if ur not sure just ask me... ill tell u if i currently have u in my disgrace list

my head hurts

im going to run away from home
linkpost comment

mooo [Mar. 24th, 2006|04:20 pm]
so life is good, im pretty sweet, im sick of ppl who have to always be fake and what not, and basically im just way better than u

my stomach hurts, but thats ok

ur a douche
linkpost comment

boooo [Mar. 19th, 2006|04:21 pm]
idk this was a very fun weekend.... friday, was going to go out with mike and katy but i got really sick, and my head dhurt, and then rick yelled at me a lot and i was crying and was just not in a good mood, so i didnt do nething and instead i laid in bed...

then saturday i went to work, and thought about stuff, went to tops, was going to buy vanilla coke for rick, but they stopped making it so i bought root beer instead, and then i bought cake stuff... i was oging to make dinner, but he ate b4 he came over so i gave him cake insteads, and we slow danced in my basement haha... we're cool... i dont like him... i got really sick... icky icky

then rick felt bad aboput some stuff so i got him a special surprise for tomrorow...

i dont really like him... really i dont like rick at allll

and i went shopping with mike, and then i came home and was very very sick... yea
linkpost comment

mooooooooooooo [Mar. 17th, 2006|08:42 pm]
[mood |sleepysleepy]

yea... ive been in a bad mood for a while, but now that i have a feqw bottles of vodka in me everythigns good... jk i dont drink... oonly looooosers are boozers!

duude i love no one

boom im a thunder bolt

flash flash im laur-lightening, im lughtining

link1 comment|post comment

from my myspace [Mar. 15th, 2006|09:44 pm]
gee oooo gee ooo gee

i cried a lot in creative writing... cuz finding neverland is sad, and i wish i could go to neverland... dont u? u could just not have to care about nething ever, and throw pretend food at ur pretend friends, and play with faeries and mermaids, and no one would make u feel completely miserable, cuz if they did u could just unimagine them and make them disappear, and u never have to deal with feelings such as love, because love is overrated... and causes u to do things even tho ur completely miserable....

lets see what else? iwish i had some mental disorder, so all this crap wouldnt be sucha big deal to deal with... i mean, if u only had a brain that functioned at 2% of its total capacity, ud have bigger problems then who touchd u where, and who said what, and stupid boys who piss u off beyond belief... and boom life would just consist of u being half conscience in a hospital ur whole life, and yes that seems more appealing then what i have now

oh wait im in a good mood today... no im not, the cocaine hasnt kicked in yet... amanda u do drugs? nope... cocaine is bad u silly bastard... whatwhat, sometimes i wish, wait no i never wished i did drugs, and i never will wish that, because drugs r stpid just like porlife bible banging bitches... go back to nazi camp cuz no one wants u here u fucking whore

amanda no need to be mean... hey i can do whatever the hell i want, this is my blog n ot urs, in fact i can divulge a deep dark secret right now, see theres this boy, hes dirty and gorss, and he... nevermind im not going to fnish that one... but hey amanda u have to, u cant start something and not finish, oh yea i can... watch

u know what i hate about ppl the most... the fact that they try to act like theyre concerned about u, when theyreally couldnt care less about how ur feeling, please dont feign an interest in my feelings if u really dont care, its not going to hurt my feelings, cuz to be honest i wouldnt tell u what was wrong neways... in fact i wont even tell myself whats wrong, so y the hell would i waste my time telling you? youd prob just mutter "ew freak" under ur breath and walk away, and then walk around as if ur the greatest friend in the world b/c u pretended to be interested in something othjer than urself for once

wow i have no clue what the hell im talking about but thats really ok, i dont care, im kinda on a roll and im just going to keep going, and we'll see where this goes, b/c this may be the cloest u ever get to what im really thinking about...

i HATE prom, no i dont hate it, i hate the fact that somehow i got stuck booking the damn fucking limo, i was simply finding the ppl to be in the limo, i was NEVER supposed to book the limo, yet ppl assume im the one booking it, if u want a damn limo so much maybe u should help me fucking book it, cuz im the one whos been running around trying to find out whos in our limo, im the one who came up with plans for after prom, im the one doing fucking everything while everyone else sits back and complains about their own shitty life, which is a walk in the park compared to my life, and i swear, if i hear one complaint from neone, i will rip their lips off, and shove them so far up their ass that they wont be able to sit for weeks... i mean really ur afucking senior, and u expect one person to do everything fo ru... wtf... i hate ppl

what else pisses me off... douche bags who go to review b4 school and ask the same fucking question rephrased fifty times, and other ppl asking dumb questions... i seriously think some ppl just ask questions to hear themselves talk...

and i HATE ppl who tell me pointless stories... most of the time if i know the ppl its not too bad, but dont tell me stories about ppl who ive never met b4, i really dont fucking care about somekid that ur cousins ex bf is friends with... hoenstly i dont... im a visual person, and i need to picture the person involved in the story to actually give a hoot... so fucking stop alking to me about ppl i dont know... unless i ask about them i dont care

and dont blame me for being bitchy if i yell at you... if ur annoying me, then yes i will get mad at u... if i have bruises on me knee, and u bang into my knee with urs, i will get mad, cuz that hurts, esp if it happens cuz ur fucking around...

dont tell me how to treat other ppl either, if i wanna be mean ill be mean and deal with my guilt later... u dont know how im feeling, therefore u cant judge the way i act, if u think im wrong or irrational, then go ahead and think that, but if the issue at hand has nothing to do with you, then just stay the hell out of it... i hate when ricks friends do it, so what makes u think i would enjoy it when my friends do it... i dont

and RICK IS NOT WHIPPED... im so sick of hearing this... ok yea sometimes he does things that he doesnt have to, but that doesnt mean hes whipped... ok sometimes i say he is, but im usually just playin... so what if hes a gentlemen and does the gentlemenly thing... just b/c ur bf isnt as considerate as rick doesnt mean ricks whipped... next time some one says that and is serious about it, i might just scream... (btw rick i LOVE you)

BeautySchoolDrpt: was the noise miss banas made today a RARRRR or BOOO i think it was rarrrrr

that just made me laugh, emilys pretty sweet

despite what i say and do... i love rick more than everything and nething, and i think id be lost without him, and hes gves my the best two thirds of a year of my life

i love rick, i love some of my friends, and i love my blanket
link1 comment|post comment

mmmm [Mar. 14th, 2006|09:28 pm]
today was pretty darn tooting good

nationals first period...put the wrong date n my test... lance turned to me and said, "howd u forget the date, its pi day" to which i stared stupidly having no clue what he meant... and then he explained it and i was like... oh

then i came in to cw halfway thru the period... ms banas just loved seeing me, and itt made her day... then chris turned to me and said, "how come u were late, i didnt know what to do i was so lost without u..." weirdest kid ever...haha but hes pretty funny

anatomy was boring, study hall was actually entertaining...idk some really ugly ho-bag came in and decided to ask us if mary was there... wtf is it that hard to see past the other side of the table and notice she isnt there... well maybe iif ur brain wasnt so full of "im a bitch im a bitch im a bitch...and i look like a man with really ugly shoes" then maybe u wouldve realized that in fact mary wasnt there... seriously could she have a manlier last name... armstrong? wtf...

lunch was...lunch... rick got mad b/c ppl took his food... oh boohoo for him, and he hit me...

english was fun

sh sucked

latin was fun

math was fun, cuz i moved back and sat next to christie and it made the period go by faster

mda was fun

sitting at home trying to get a hold of my douchebag bf for 4 hours sucked

crying b/c i was freaking out sucked more

now my eyyes hurt, and my head
link1 comment|post comment

u make me wanna screeeeeeeeeeeeeeam [Mar. 13th, 2006|08:31 pm]
so everyones been breaking down, and depressed lately, including me, but life goes on... by no means is this going to be voted the feel good post of the year... in fact its mostly going to be just me expressing my feelings... which i never ever do...

so this year has been stressful... theres been feuds that have just been horrible, fights that have just been explosive, and people have made mistakes that have been regrettable... but thats life...

but thats the reason god made snickers ice cream and fox brought us the o.c.

honestly there is no better way to not think about ur problems then watching the made up drama in other ppls lives... and that caramel/chocolate icecream combo is simply to die for... not to mention

ok so i cheated a little bit.. i had the most amazing bf to get me thru it all too... but hey maybe u didnt notice, but since i got my boyfriend, i basically lost all but like 3 of my friends... so yea i have an amazing bf... a few good friends, and a few semi good friends, but mostly all the ppl i considered good friends have simply become acquantances... but im not a clingy person, im not going to go and try to forge an undying friendship with them... i mean honestly yea it hurts never seeing them, but ill live... im pretty sweet like that... and i never needed friends b4, i sure as hell dont need them now... ive gotten thru some of the worst situations in life with minimal help from others, ill get thru them again...

in fact theres no better ffriend then my friend jack, so live it up and forget it all, because in the end nothing else matters, nothing but how u feel.... if u need a little influence from an outside source to acchieve internal bliss... then by all means utilize that source... neone who judges u doesnt matter, neone who worries about u does matter, but hey if they were really that concerned... maybe they should have done something b4 it reached this point...

i dont wanna sound emo so, i love bunnies!

idk bipolar
linkpost comment

WALKKKKK [Mar. 8th, 2006|09:04 pm]
ive decided that the walking unit in gym class is in reality, a necessity for our school... ive never been known for my patience in the hallway, the way i see it... if its the end of the day and i have the chance to get home, i wanna get home as soon as possible... but i find this getting harder and harder with each passing day... and how come? because girls feel the need to talk to each other standing just far enough where its impossible to walk between them, but then theres no room behind the other girl b/c theres a traffic flow of ppl coming the other way... now usually i just kinda squeezed thru politely, but i have a new solution... back to the primitive age... push them out of ur way.... amandas new hallway policy... if theres a skank in ur way just push...and never stop...

and... another thing that pisses me off... ok making fun of someone u dont know... "oh i heard so and so did this so lets mock them for it" ok its one thing to make fun of someone b/c of things they say... but to make fun of smeone b/c of some piece of gossip u hear about them? PATHETIC! seriously... i mean i make fun of ppl i know all the time... its who i am... deal with it... but im not about to go insult someone ive never even met b4 b/c he/she has an opinion about something i disagree with... with the exceptions of celebreties... b/c ill never meet thme, and theyll never hear...

in conclusion im sweet, and if ur offended by this... ts nothing personal just my views so dont bitch at me... besideds i doubt neone reading this would be offended
linkpost comment

lalalla [Mar. 6th, 2006|08:34 pm]
gee im in a pretty darn good mood despite the fact that most ppl in fact r complete dumbasses, and do some pretty bitchy things

i mean theres still certain ppl, who r by no means any prize themselves, that feel its ok to just toy with ppls feelings... ok its one thing if its accidental, but to lead someone on when ur seemingly not interested at all is mean, cruel, hurtful, bitchy, immature, and basically stupid... i mean i did this shit...freshmen year...and then i stopped b/c its just extra drama... and who likes drama? oh wait a lot of ppl do

another thing i hate, ppl who brag about themselves... ok if ur 100 pounds overweight then yes ur gonna have big boobs, but not because ur a busty girl, because ur FAT...so my advice to u... go on a diet, do some physical activity, and lose weight... no retrieving the mail and taking out the garbage does not count as physical activity... but amanda u dont work out, yea and im also not a fatass! god damnit

and whats with girls being obsessed with their hair? every girl i know... "ooo my hgairs so perfect i could never cut it!"the way girls talk it seems every single girl has perfect hair...which hey may be possible, but if it were true then theres no need for every girl to announce how perfect their hair is... honestly i know one person whos hair i actually like...

and im sick of the whole world claiming to be "good writers" ok dont tell me ur a good writer, if i feel so inclined to know of ur writing level ill go read ur writing and judge for myself... and most likey itll be crap...everyones filled with this false sense of self confidence b/c teachers and friends tell them they have a good piece... ok friends will NEVER tell u ur writing sucks... and teachers wont either, its just the way things r... honestly tho even if u r a good writer thats great, go ahead and major in english... but dont come to me bragging of ur writing skills... u prob suck and no ones had the guts to tell u

another thing i hate... prude girls with mouths of a whore... ok if the thought of sex with a guy is gross to u, then dont pretend ur obsessed with it... god damnit

i could go on... but hey fuck you
link1 comment|post comment

[ viewing | 10 entries back ]
[ go | earlier/later ]